Unwrapping Trauma: Transforming Your Holiday Season for a Happier Marriage

“Transform your holiday season into a joyous experience by addressing family triggers, creating new traditions, and finding meaning in togetherness.” - Dr. Rachel Thompson

Introduction:

The holiday season is often depicted as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. Yet, when we scratch beneath the surface, we often find that it's also a time when marriages face some of their most significant challenges. We're going to explore why the holidays can be such a breeding ground for trauma within marriages. We'll dive into the reasons behind the triggers we experience during this time, which are often linked to our family of origin.

Marriage in the Holiday Crucible

Picture this: the holiday season is approaching, and you can already feel the tension building. You and your spouse have your own visions of how the holidays should unfold, and they don't always align. This disconnect can lead to stress, arguments, and sometimes even a feeling that everything is falling apart. Why does this happen?

The Triggering Effect

The answer lies in our past experiences, particularly our formative years spent with our families. These experiences shape our expectations and reactions during the holiday season. If you've ever noticed that you tend to get triggered by your family, you're not alone. Many individuals carry unresolved issues and traumas from their family of origin, and the holiday season has a way of bringing these to the forefront.

The Importance of Having a Plan

One common mistake is not having a plan for the holidays. We often fall into the same patterns year after year, hoping that things will magically be different this time. But if the holidays have consistently been a source of stress and unhappiness for you, it's time to take a step back and ask yourself why you keep doing the same things.

Working Through Trauma

Before making any drastic changes to your holiday traditions, it's essential to address your own unresolved traumas and any lingering feelings of unforgiveness. These unresolved issues can explode during family gatherings, leading to emotional turmoil.

Creating Your Own Traditions

The key to transforming the holidays lies in creating your own traditions and rituals. It's time to break free from the cycle of doing things just because it's what you've always done or what your family expects. Start by sitting down with your spouse and children and ask them what they would genuinely enjoy during the holiday season. This collaborative approach can bring fresh, exciting ideas to the table.

Intentional Holiday Planning

Getting intentional about your holiday planning means thinking ahead. Don't wait until the last minute to start considering how you want to spend your holidays. Just as you're already planning for this year, start planning for next year now. Be intimately involved in the details of your holiday season, and don't be afraid to make changes that align with your desires and values.

Reflecting on Purpose

To truly transform your holiday season and your life, it's crucial to reflect on your purpose. What do you want to create, not just during the holidays but in your life as a whole? The holidays provide an excellent opportunity to align your actions with your values and passions.

Conclusion:

The holiday season doesn't have to be a source of stress and trauma in your marriage. By acknowledging the triggers from your family of origin, working through unresolved issues, and intentionally creating your own holiday traditions, you can turn this time of year into a joyous and meaningful experience. Remember, your life is a tapestry of moments, and each holiday season is a thread in that tapestry. Make it a thread worth cherishing, one that reflects your values, desires, and the love you share with your spouse and family. Embrace the opportunity to create a holiday season that truly brings you happiness and fulfillment.

Right now I am offering a free Discovery Session. If your dealing with past traumas, I am here to help. Click this link to schedule your call.